Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas



My brother came up to me in December when I got back from my trip and said:

-There is this movie about World War 2 (so I would like it... as long as Tom Cruise isn't in it... that made me so mad!) that is this boy with very pale skin, blue eyes, and dark black hair, just like the son you want to have some day(I really want my kid to be like that... hope blond with blond can make black hair...)! The movie is called “The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas”

I got very interested, but went trough a lot since December, and I only saw it this month…
I have not written here in a long time but I want every one to this movie, is perfection!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Gnome

I want to tell you a story
About a little man
If I can.
A gnome named Grimble Crumble.
And little gnomes stay in their homes.
Eating, sleeping, drinking their wine.

He wore a scarlet tunic,
A blue green hood,
It looked quite good.
He had a big adventure
Amidst the grass
Fresh air at last.
Wining, dining, biding his time.
And then one day - hooray!
Another way for gnomes to say
Oooooooooomray.

Look at the sky, look at the river
Isn't it good?
Look at the sky, look at the river
Isn't it good?
Winding, finding places to go.
And then one day - hooray!
Another way for gnomes to say
Oooooooooomray.
Ooooooooooooooomray.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Down -0,6








Thursday, April 16, 2009

Today is a special day!

Happy Birthday to you, who will never read this!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Down -3,5






Saturday, March 28, 2009


I've got a little black book with my poems in.
Got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in.
When I'm a good dog, they sometimes throw me a bone in.

I got elastic bands keepin my shoes on.
Got those swollen hand blues.
Got thirteen channels of shit on the T.V. to choose from.
I've got electric light.
And I've got second sight.
And amazing powers of observation.
And that is how I know
When I try to get through
On the telephone to you
There'll be nobody home.

I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm.
And the inevitable pinhole burns
All down the front of my favorite satin shirt.
I've got nicotine stains on my fingers.
I've got a silver spoon on a chain.
I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains.

I've got wild staring eyes.
And I've got a strong urge to fly.
But I got nowhere to fly to.
Ooooh, Babe when I pick up the phone

"Surprise, surprise, surprise..." (from Gomer Pyle show)

There's still nobody home.

I've got a pair of Gohills boots
and I got fading roots.

"Where the hell are you?"
"Over 47 german planes were destroyed with the loss of only 15
of our own aircraft"
"Where the hell are you Simon?"
[Machine gun sound, followed by plane crashing]


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Thinking!



It’s very weird how nice people some times nice people pop in to our life! Out of no where they come… I think as you fell better the quality (and quantity) of people increase…




You fell better about yourself and people will be better around you, corny yes, true, I hope so!










Every city has it’s nice people, as I learned, every country, and it’s fair share of shitty people to… Just don’t be one of them or hang around with them!


Don’t want to fall into a downward spiral again… The only way I want to go from now is up!



Just got 50,00 bucks worth of credit in my mobile! Good luck is only beginning! So much more to come! *crosses fingers and wishful thinks*


And two episodes of Gossip Girl! HAHA (Nelson The Simpsons)

Monday, March 16, 2009

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I did... Both ;)



I want you to know you are not alone
I want you to know you are always with me
I want you to know you can trust this
I want you to know without you I am not complete

Friday, March 13, 2009

Ok, just saw an interview on tv with a German guy who sings Brazilian's funk in portuguese... Very funny! Not good, but very funny...




Soooo if some one wants to buy me a house I want something like this...



I don't mind if it is in Germany, don't mind at all!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

...Its you

"Nothing's perfect," sighed the fox. "My life is monotonous. I hunt chickens; people hunt me. All chickens are just alike, and all men are just alike. So I'm rather bored. But if you tame me, my life will be filled with sunshine. I'll know the sound of footsteps that will be different from all the rest. Other footsteps send me back underground. Yours will call me out of my burrow like music. And then, look! You see the wheat fields over there? I don't eat bread. For me, wheat is no use whatever. Wheat fields say nothing to me. Which is sad. But you have hair the color of gold. So it will be wonderful, once you've tamed me! The wheat, which is golden, will remind me of you. And I'll love the sound of the wind in the wheat..."

Adicionar imagem

If You are special you will know it's for you...



"People have stars, but they aren't the same. For travelers, the stars are guides. For other people, they're nothing but tiny lights. And for still others, for scholars, they're problems. For my businessman, they were gold. But all those stars are silent stars. You, though, you'll have stars like nobody else."


"What do you mean?"

"When you look up at the sky at night, since I'll be living on one of them, since I'll be laughing on one of them, for you, it'll be as if all the stars are laughing. You'll have stars that can laugh!"
And he laughed again.


"And when you're consoled (everyone is eventually consoled), you'll be glad you've known me. You'll always be my friend. You'll feel like laughing with me. And you'll open your windows sometimes just for the fun of it... And your friends will be amazed to see you laughing while you're looking up at the sky. Then you'll tell them, 'Yes, it's the stars. They always make me laugh!"

Monday, March 9, 2009

Really Nice!


Excellent...(The Simpsons)

The Little Prince on drugs!

(Thanks Big Brother)

Meet Joann Sfar


By Monsieur Renard on Thursday, September 4 2008, 06:00 -


The Little Prince Graphic Novel will be in store on September 18th. But maybe you're not familiar with Joann Sfar, the writer/artist behind the adaptation. Joann Sfar is a french comic book artist and writer who has published dozens of comic book in the last 15 years. His best selling title is The Rabbi's Cat, avaliable in English Language for those who want to read more. One of his comic book has been adapted into a cartoon, it's called Little Vampire.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Was just thinking...



The best things in life are just there in front of us, always... (That’s where God puts them) Even if not “in person” they are there in past memories or in dreams that may come true in the future. As much as it is nice to miss things passed, it’s always better when that hint that we might be together again, really nice if today, good if it takes sometime and always hopeful that in the “after life”…

The felling of missing is not bad, it’s sad when it’s happening but some day will be just a memory, a nice one: “Remember when we were away and missed each other? That was rough, but necessary…”
And never take for granted what you have now, right there next to you, even if it has been there forever, it might be gone tomorrow, and you will regret not making the best of the time you had, even if you do make the best out of it, you will still regret once is gone, and it becomes something else you miss…





Might not make sense at all (I usually don’t) but try to understand it. I know I will do my best to try to understand the small things I figure out with life… Specially after I have taken my sleeping pills!


Happy BirthDay to me! A few hours late... Today was a busy day...

-NOT

Thursday, March 5, 2009

First Present!

I have the best Godparents ever! Not only are they sweet and nice, my Godmother takes care of me when my mom isn't here, and she saved my arm last year, she is a nurse. Chief Nurse, the best ever to walk on earth. She should be on Grey's Anathomy!
They got me a perfect gift (as always)!




Hershey'TMs Barbie® Doll
2009
Silver Label™ Collection
American Favorites™ Collection

For well over a century, Hershey'®s has been the chocolate of choice. Now, Hershey'TMs Barbie® doll embodies the sweet style and classic appeal of the beloved Hershey'®s chocolate brand. Wearing a stylish brown cocktail dress complete with Hershey'®s ribbon around the waist, sky high heels, and sparkling drop earrings, Barbie® doll looks absolutely delicious.Designed by Linda Kyaw.










Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Plain



It just comes out of nowhere, and it’s so much worse when you can’t blame it on any disease...


Not any more, now it’s all me! It’s not that is something wrong in my brain, I am fine in there, the sadness now just comes from me, it’s hard to find out that lack of a life perspective or just hands down happiness it ain’t happening and it’s 100% me.


At least that’s good to know where I start, even if not in a good place…

Friday, February 27, 2009

BirthDay Comming...


So March 7 is my birthday...
Just so everybody knows...
I will be turning 23 again, next year I will turn 22, that's how is going to be till I reach 16 again, than it will come up till 23, and then down again!
Got it...

Ideas for presents:
-Barbies
-Purple Things
-Eternal youth!
-Cute things for hair

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Nightmares or just bad dreams...





All I know is that they don't stop, in my dream I wanted to see you, and was looking for you in the dream. I knew you were there but couldn't see you, and I knew it was a dream and I wanted so bad to see you, and you kept running away, and everything was spinning, like in a carnival ride! I hate it hate spinning things and people would make me go on this rides... was awful!

There were carnival rides and I would go on them just so people wouldn't get upset with me... And the rides would send me away spinning in to the void and i would just start looking for you again. Some times i would see your face in the crowd, quickly and then you would fade away again...

You were wearing red... Jung, pretty please...

Monday, February 23, 2009

Jung I need Your help!

So for the second time in two days i woke up screaming... yesterday I was at my grandmother’s farm arguing with this guy, about ghosts or something…
Today was cause I fell from a high place, a very high hammock, I didn’t scream because of the fall, was because after I was on the floor I didn’t move or say anything, but I knew I was dreaming so in my head was like: I am disable or dead… but if I can talk I will be alive, but I couldn’t talk. So I thought, if I scream or tried very hard to move I will wake up, so I tried and screamed, but was supposed to be in the dream but it came out for real, loud and i woke up screaming…
I fell of the thing because I was taking a test up there, and there was this little paper with the answers and I didn't want the teacher to think I was cheating, cause I wasn't, I was very good at that particular subject... so I wanted to get rid of the little piece of paper... and that's how I fell, and on the fall my head hited the floor very strongly! Was quite a big fall!
Jung my dear, help me!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Perfect!

She took the world by storm, surprising skeptical toy critics at New York's Toy Fair in 1959. With her good looks, charm, and charisma, she won audiences over in record time. Soon, little girls across America, and later, the world, were singing her praises. In the coming years, both adults and children would collect her in record numbers. Today she remains one of the hottest selling toys in the world. Her name is Barbie.



And I Love Her!

Who doesn't...



Saturday, February 21, 2009

Only The Cool Ones!

Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 62% 53%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 90% 53%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 70% 47%
Borderline ||||||||| 34% 47%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 66% 43%
Narcissistic |||||||||| 34% 41%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||||| 74% 39%
Dependent |||||||||||||||| 70% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||| 18% 40%

*scores in gray are the average web score

Test Note: Read the descriptions below to avoid misinterpreting test results (for example, the Antisocial classification does not mean you are a loner, it means you tend to be insensitive towards others).
General Note: the validity and reliability of DSM personality disorders are still lacking in strong statistical evidence and clear agreement in the scientific and medical community. They are determined by the American Psychiatric Association and will likely be revised in the future.
Author Note:I don't think Schizoid personality is a valid disorder (read), some of the smartest people in history were schizoid because they occupied a remote end of the intelligence bell curve. Schizotypal personality can encompass highly original thinkers as well as totally insane people so I think it's a flawed type. I think the remaining eight disorders are generally valid.
Disorder Info
Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal

Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.
Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.
Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic

Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.

Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.
Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive

Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.

Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism

Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

EEEE computer I like again!

Ok, so for the past week or so, I had some problems with the Laptop, some unfortunately misshapen... (Yes that’s how we will call it ;)) It had to be taken to the place where they fix computers…I have no idea how it’s called, not in Portuguese, English, German or French… Maybe because my German is awful ad I don’t speak French…
And since I hate using the big computer, he has a problem with me... I have a problem with him… Is not that we hate each other, don’t be worried… And have been having some lacks of imagination, turning out of words… would get these blanks in my mind… My others mes are not talking as much as they used to, not even the nice ones! The mean ones, I don’t mind…
So many things happened!
-NOT! (Borat made it cool again, and forever!)

- Taking meds to stop shaking, that’s weird, my hands shake since I was born!
- Had a new tattoo done the 7 Th one! Waited 5 years to get it!
- Saw a perfect movie, Kate Winslet + books + World War 2 = perfection!
- Baked many cookies!
- Got a new crown! A purple flower one! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Tobias a matching one! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE times 10000000
- Found out all my family is sure I am crazy! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
- Started second part of German Class…
- Started Pilates.
- Got accepted on the new University, so now I study Cinema and audiovisual!
- As I said before new meds and more of old one

And that is that… Bowie is so nice, isn’t he?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Problems with the computer... it went down with the dog to the floor...

splash

the illusion is that you are simply
reading this poem.
the reality is that this is
more than a
poem.
this is a beggar's knife.
this is a tulip.
this is a soldier marching
through Madrid.
this is you on your
death bed.
this is Li Po laughing
underground.
this is not a god-damned
poem.
this is a horse asleep.
a butterfly in
your brain.
this is the devil's
circus.
you are not reading this
on a page.
the page is reading
you.
feel it?
it's like a cobra. it's a hungry eagle circling the room.

this is not a poem. poems are dull,
they make you sleep.

these words force you
to a new
madness.

you have been blessed, you have been pushed into a
blinding area of
light.

the elephant dreams
with you
now.
the curve of space
bends and
laughs.

you can die now.
you can die now as
people were meant to
die:
great,
victorious,
hearing the music,
being the music,
roaring,
roaring,
roaring.

Charles Bukowski

Monday, February 9, 2009

I have no fingerprint!

I was at the doctor and you have to press your finger into this thing that reads your finger print, for the health insurance thing. So I tried like 10 times and nothing. The front desk lady putted hers and the thing read. Mine again, nothing. I would rub my finger in my shirt... maybe there was something, dirty, sweat…. But no, I was clean!

So she, front desk lady, turns, looking serious, at me and says:
- You have no fingerprint!
(WTF!)

There is a lab on the same floor, so I went there and asked for a cotton ball with alcohol, I rubbed it on my finger and immediately pressed the thing again, and than the lady said she got a bit of the fingerprint… She didn’t look satisfied; she looked a bit confused though…

Fuck, with no finger print I shouldn’t be at the psychiatrist, I should be killing some one!!!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Ideas

Ok,

So tomorrow I go for the second time to this new psychiatrist. Wanted to take a text I wrote about 3 years ago, at that time I had one of those things that are like blogs, but the main focus are pictures… Had many posts and in order to find the one I wanted I had to go through many… and started to realize that even if no one would read what I would write, well I would write any way… So not only I found the text but saw that I had a diary. Described dreams, told little things that would happen at my job, in my life in general. I actually didn't remember that, I thought I posted only texts and such things.
How non sense is not remembering those things… good thing I started this post by telling about my psychiatrist appointment, I kind of loose notion some times, but at least I am aware! According to my psychotherapist, different from the psychiatrist, this therapist I go to her since I was 5… so if I am 23 (at least for another month) I‘ve being going there… you do the math, it’s good to became aware of your crazy things (she doesn’t call it crazy things) even if you keep up with the craziness, at least you are aware!

So since I am not good at keeping a diary I think this is a good thing, even if no one reads it… I can remember latter!